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Funny Quotes

It is always advisable to enjoy a few lighthearted moments in life. Here are a few funny quotes and sayings that you can enjoy.
Quotabulary Staff
Last Updated: Sep 22, 2018
LOTR plot Monsters Inc
Everyone needs a dose of laughter to make their day wonderful. These funny quotes are not only full of humor, but also contain wit. You can print your favorite ones for a poster or save it as a desktop screensaver. Laughter is the best way to beat stress and overcome gloom. Spend some time reading these funny quotes and sayings, you will have a better day.
Baby girl
Funny Random Sayings
It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.
~ Mae West

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job: it's a depression when you lose yours.
~ Harry S. Truman

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry.
~ Bill Cosby
two Businessmen fighting
Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room.
~ President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) in 'Dr. Strangelove'
Men are like steel; both are worthless when they lose their temper.
~ Unknown

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
~ Homer Simpson
Businessman cheer on top of stairs, someone falling down
No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.
~ Sholom Aleichem
Life is like an onion. Why is life like an onion? Because you peel away layer after layer and when you come to the end you have nothing.
~ Yiddish Proverb

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.
~ Josh Billings
silver Duct Tape
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
~ Anonymous
Funny Quotes about Love
The truth behind being in love is that one needs to take it with a pinch of salt and a dash of lemon. All those scorned in love, or those who are celebrating love, will enjoy the following funny love quotes and sayings.
Young couple chatting and laughing
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.
~ Oscar Wilde
man opening door for woman
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
~ Unknown
Bride Putting Wedding Ring On Groom's Finger
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
~ Albert Einstein
Cute couple having fun in park
I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
~ Woody Allen
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener!
~ Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
~ Groucho Marx