Funny Fortune Cookies: Wise and Funny Cookie Sayings

Funny fortune cookies brighten us up after a nice meal. While they’re mostly known for the end of a meal at a Chinese restaurant, you can now find them as little intellectual snippets online. Essentially, what we read on Pinterest and Instagram are often like fortune cookies in the form of posters, wallpapers, quotes, and other blurbs. They’re neo-fortune cookies.

Here are some examples of fortune cookies for the modern-day, which include wisdom, humor, and other bits that can inspire and motivate you to get through the week.

Fortunes for Motivation

Fortune cookies, while they’re usually not literally fortunes or predictions, can make you feel good about yourself, your work, and your life. Here are some examples of fortune cookies that can amp up your happy feelings about your evenings at home.

“Your wisdom makes you superior to others.”

“No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.”

“Catch fire with enthusiasm. People will come for miles to watch you burn.”

“Never do anything halfway.”

“If you don’t fail sometimes, you’re not trying enough new things.”

“You are amazing in many ways.”

“Accept your flaws – then, you can conquer them.”

“Don’t be pushed by problems. Be led by dreams.”

“Knowledge is power, but enthusiasm pulls the switch.”

“The beginning is always hardest. That’s why you should never give up.”

“Shake the world today. It can take it.”

“You can’t control the wind, but you can adjust the sails.”

“The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

Funny Fortunes

Fortune cookies can also be hilarious. Here are a few funny fortunes you may be “fortunate” enough to reveal in your tasteless post-dinner cookie that you have no intention of ever eating.

“Blessed are the children, for they shall inherit the national debt.”

“You’re about to become $9.95 poorer, assuming you had the buffet.”

“As long as you don’t do anything new, you’ll be fine.”

“There’s a new romance in your future. Remember to floss first.”

“I can’t help you, for I am but a cookie.”

“Success comes before work … only in the dictionary.”

“Seek another cookie.”

“Finally! I was suffocating in there.”

“You just ate cat.”

“Error 404: Wisdom not found.”

“Breath mint next.”

“Marriage: annoying one special person for the rest of your life.”

“Disregard this cookie.”

“Joke’s on you. Cookies can’t help you.”

“Foolish man listen to heart. Wise man listen to cookie.”

“Congratulations. You’re not illiterate.”

Funny Fortune Cookies: The Takeaway

Funny fortune cookies may seem like an unimportant aspect of your meal at a Chinese restaurant. Many enjoy seeing the “fortunes,” which are more like snippets of wisdom than actual predictions. As a blog post though, you may be using the cookies we listed, collected, and even made up as your own Pinterest posts or silly tweets. Hopefully, you chuckled once or twice.

Whether you need motivation or a little laugh, these funny fortune cookies hopefully do the trick. That’s about all they can do after a delicious Chinese meal. On the internet, you get the wisdom without the plastic, thick vanilla crunchiness of the “cookies” that no one ever eats. Seriously, has anyone ever eaten those?