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Need A Quick Laugh? Read These Funny, Witty, and Short Sayings

Funny Witty Short Sayings
Quotes and sayings that make you laugh have always been popular among people of all ages, and if they are of the witty kind, they are bound to tickle your funny bone.
Quotabulary Staff
Last Updated: Aug 26, 2017
Funny Boy
Think you need to add some humor to a dull day? These sayings are bound to make you laugh, think, and even ponder over certain things in life! So brace yourself because this compilation of funny and humorous short sayings will definitely leave you asking for more!
Quotes For Your Wits
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible
― Voltaire
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
― Isaac Newton
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
― Steven Wright
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
― Katharine Whitehorn
A technical objection is the first refuge of a scoundrel.
― Heywood Broun
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
― Peter De Vries
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
― Henry Kissinger
He has a face like a Saint ― A Saint Bernard.
― Unknown
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
― Mark Twain
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
― Robert Orben
Common sense is not so common.
― Voltaire
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
― Lana Turner
Conway's Law: In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on - This person must be fired.
― Melvin Conway
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
― Voltaire
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
― Groucho Marx
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
― Unknown
The best way to become boring is to say everything.
― Voltaire
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
― Groucho Marx
Of course, the list of such sayings is never-ending, but now that you know what you need for your daily dose of laughter, keep adding one for each day!