There are inspiring and smart quotes that famous people make and then there are the utterly stupid ones. If not their art, these are the quotes that sky-rocketed them to instant fame. Check out our collection and have a hearty laugh.
There are quotes that inspire you, help you when you feel down and out, and act as a driving force to help you strike back at your problem with a vengeance. And then there are quotes which have the same effect of inspiring us, but in completely different ways – they make us thank God that at least we’re not that dumb.
Yes, sometimes it’s astonishing what people can say on camera, without thinking twice (or even once for that matter). I have quoted a few of these ‘golden words’ (read celebrity stupid quotes), that really shouldn’t be repeated for the general good of humanity.
Politicians are just as famous for their well rehearsed and practiced speeches, as they are for their slip-ups when they need to speak without the luxury of a speech writer. Thus, their funniest and often inadvertent, but undoubtedly hilarious quotes are those that are said at press conferences and interviews. Given below is a list of political faux pas that will leave you in splits.
Being Politically (In)correct
How’s it going, Sunshine?
– Barack Obama, President of the United States, at Sunrise, Florida
– Mitt Romney
– Barbara Boxer, Senator
– Arnold Schwarzenegger
– Bill Clinton, former U.S. President
– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
– Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
– Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House, to a group of people in wheelchairs on Disability Day
– Charles de Gaulle, former French President
– Bill Clinton, former U.S. President
– Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President when asked about his illegal fundraising activities that took place in a Buddhist temple
– Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
– Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
– Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
– Lamar Alexander, former Secretary of Education, explaining his ideas on what parents of children who attend poorly funded urban or rural schools should do to solve the problem
– Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.
– Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
Hit or Miss?
Sportsmen were never particularly well-known for their intellect. So barring a few rare sports personalities, most sports icons end up saying the silliest things before the camera. And not ones to be left behind, sports commentators are rivaling so with sportsmen to aid the cause of stupid quotes by celebrities (and it doesn’t help that most of their commentary is live).
Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.
– Bill Peterson, football coach
You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours. – Yogi Berra, former American Major League Baseball player
Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious.
– Alan Minter, Boxer
Okay, everyone, now inhale… and then dehale!
– Maury Wills, Los Angeles Dodgers captain, leading his teammates through warm-up calisthenics
We didn’t underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought.
– Bobby Robson, after the 1990 World Cup Finals match against Cameroon
You guys have to run a little more than full speed out there.
– Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
It’s only puffy when it’s swollen.
– Charlie Hough, Baseball player, talking about his broken finger
My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.
– Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, telling Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice
Better make it six, I can’t eat eight.
– Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher, when a waitress asked whether he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices
And now the sequence of events, in no particular order.
– Dan Rather, television news anchor
Half this game is ninety percent mental.
– Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager
And here’s Moses Kiptanui
– the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago. – David Coleman, Sports commentator
The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
– Dizzy Dean explaining to the media how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series
Our strength is that we don’t have any weaknesses. Our weakness is that we don’t have any real strengths.
– Frank Broyles, College football coach
Boxing’s all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds.
– Frank Bruno, Boxer
For most people, death comes at the end of their lives.
– GLR broadcaster, UK
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
– Greg Norman, Golfer
We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
– Jason Kidd upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl.
– Joe Jacoby, NFL Football player, of the Washington Redskins
To win, I’d run over Joe’s mom too.
– Matt Millen, NFL Football player, of the Raiders
In a sense it’s a one-man show… except there are two men involved, Hartson and Berkovic, and a third man, the goalkeeper.
– John Motson, BBC1
I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad.
– Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player
He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.
– Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota
I’ll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing, if the price is right.
– Marlon Starling
Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding.
– Mickey Rivers, baseball player
We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.
– Murray Walker, Sportscaster
That’s just the tip of the ice cube.
– Neil Hamilton, BBC2
Guys aren’t able to get $15 or $20 million anymore, so you have to play for the love of the game.
– Penny Hardaway, NBA Basketball Player
The FA are still optimistic about England’s bid to stage the World Cup in twenty thousand and six.
– Peter Snow, BBC2 anchorman
I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.
– Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.
– Shaquille O’Neal, basketball player, on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece
I don’t think we learned a lesson; I think it was a learning experience for us.
– Shaquille O’Neal, basketball player, after game 4 of the 2001 NBA finals, on being asked by NBC reporter Jim Gray if LA had learned a lesson from what happened the previous year in Indiana
I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.
– Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer
I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians.
– Tommy Lasorda, former Dodger manager on World Cup soccer tournament
I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
– Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
Predictions are difficult. Especially about the future.
– Yogi Berra, Baseball player
Lights, Camera, Errrr….
Beauty and brains is a rare enough combination, but when it comes to Hollywood and the music industry, it’s still rarer. Most celebrities, without the scripts in their hand, may end saying funny things, which are actually good enough to make it to the next Woody Allen movie. So read on to find out what was the stupidest thing said by your favorite celebrity:
– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
– Alicia Silverstone, Actress
– Mariah Carey, Pop Singer
– Britney Spears, Pop Singer
– Paris Hilton
– Dick Cavett, former talk show host
– George Gobel, actor and comedian
– Linda Evangelista, Supermodel
– Christina Aguilera
– Madonna
– Marilyn Manson, Singer
– Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss Universe contest, when asked if she would want to live forever
– Tony Bennett, Singer
– Britney Spears
George W. Bush – We Rest our Case
So this was your, well, not daily, but a lifetime’s dose of stupid quotes. After reading these, the next time you sit down to pray, do thank the Lord, for blessing you with the cognitive ability of knowing what to say, but more importantly knowing what not to say. Amen! to say. Amen!