Classic Sassy Sayings for a Tongue-in-cheek Push to the Brain

Sassy saying
There are many methods of creating and enjoying humor, and sassy sayings and quotes are one of them. These sentences can be words of wisdom or just bad or rude comments presented in a humorous manner. The only purpose of such funky items is to attract attention, create a bit of humor, and show uniqueness from the rest. Sassy sayings and quotes are definitely a fun way to be entertained.
There are many people who like to own things which have these direct and witty statements printed. Some of these things are t-shirts, caps, key chains, handbags and sacks, coffee mugs, buttons, and many other accessories.
In God we trust, others must pay cash.
In God we trust, others must pay cash.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
I'm sorry, my fault, I forgot you were an idiot.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
There's no future in time travel.
There's no future in time travel.
There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
I wear the brains in the family.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.
Where there's a will... I want to be in it.
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. ~ Steven Wright
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. ~ Alison Boulter
There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.
Weapons of mass distraction.
I can resist everything, except temptation. ~ Oscar Wilde
If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me.
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed enough already.
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed enough already.
I don't know what makes you dumb, but it really works.
It is better to let everyone think you are stupid, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt. ~ Mark Twain
Let's save time and just assume I know everything.
If you wanna come second... Follow me!!
I'm the person your mother warned you about.
I'm the person your mother warned you about.
Save a horse, ride a cowboy! - Big & Rich
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A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. ~ George.S.Patton
Twinkle twinkle I'm a star.
My opinions may have changed but not the fact that I am right! - Ashleigh Brilliant
Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.
Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.
I'm not totally useless, I can be used as a bad example.
Please entertain me, I'm bored!
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. ~ Rita Mae Brown
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. ~ John Ortberg Jr.
Dad's the boss, mom said so.
Dad's the boss, mom said so.
Nothing is illegal until you get caught.
I'm open to suggestions, just not to taking them.
The more I learn, the less I understand.
Born free!! Now I'm expensive.
All men are idiots, and I married their king.
All men are idiots, and I married their king.
I'm free of all prejudice, I hate everyone equally. ~ W. C. Fields
I think, therefore I'm single. ~ Liz Winston
Abandon the search for truth, settle for a good fantasy.
Please Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. ~ Steven Wright
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. ~ Steven Wright
It's not an attitude, it's the way I am!
Will smile for food.
I'm just a baby - what's your excuse?
With this smile, I can get away with everything.
I'm so cute, I should wear a warning.
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