There are many people who like to own things which have these direct and witty statements printed. Some of these things are t-shirts, caps, key chains, handbags and sacks, coffee mugs, buttons, and many other accessories.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
I'm sorry, my fault, I forgot you were an idiot.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
I wear the brains in the family.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.
Where there's a will... I want to be in it.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. ~ Steven Wright
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. ~ Alison Boulter
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.
Weapons of mass distraction.
I can resist everything, except temptation. ~ Oscar Wilde
If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me.
I don't know what makes you dumb, but it really works.
It is better to let everyone think you are stupid, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt. ~ Mark Twain
Let's save time and just assume I know everything.
If you wanna come second... Follow me!!
Save a horse, ride a cowboy! - Big & Rich
A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. ~ George.S.Patton
Twinkle twinkle I'm a star.
My opinions may have changed but not the fact that I am right! - Ashleigh Brilliant
I'm not totally useless, I can be used as a bad example.
Please entertain me, I'm bored!
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. ~ Rita Mae Brown
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. ~ John Ortberg Jr.
Nothing is illegal until you get caught.
I'm open to suggestions, just not to taking them.
The more I learn, the less I understand.
Born free!! Now I'm expensive.
I'm free of all prejudice, I hate everyone equally. ~ W. C. Fields
I think, therefore I'm single. ~ Liz Winston
Abandon the search for truth, settle for a good fantasy.
Please Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
It's not an attitude, it's the way I am!
Will smile for food.
I'm just a baby - what's your excuse?
With this smile, I can get away with everything.
I'm so cute, I should wear a warning.