We all need a little bit of humor in our lives in order to get us through the tough times and bring a smile on our faces. Hilarious short quotes certainly do the trick; they are short, sweet, and rather amusing, and are likely to tickle your funny bone.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. ~ Robert Bloch
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
I can resist everything except temptation. ~ Oscar Wilde
I am fond of children – except boys. ~ Lewis Carroll
Constipated people don’t give a crap.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. ~ Leo J. Burke
When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick. ~ George Burns
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. ~ Louis Hector Berlioz
If you can’t fix it with duct tape, you haven’t used enough.
The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable. ~ Quentin Crisp
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
Nobody goes where the crowds are anymore. It’s too crowded. ~ Yogi Berra
No, I don’t have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
Strike while your employer has a big contract.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Committee – a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. ~ M. Berle
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business. ~ Dave Barry
If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn’t show up. ~ Dr Seuss
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. ~ Les Dawson
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. ~ Douglas Adam
Experience is the sinking feeling you have made this mistake before.
If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving is surely not meant for you.
These quotes can turn frowns into smiles and change one’s mood from grouchy to pleasant. Share these with those you love to give them something to smile about before they get on with their day.
