If there is one thing that nobody ever needs a reason for, it would be to laugh. In today's life, when people need to make time to seek happiness, something as simple as a few words put together can give them joy enough to carry on with the mundane task of making two ends meet. In this Buzzle article, you will find just that - a few breathers that will refresh you anytime, anywhere. This article contains funny one-liners and quotes, and not literally phrases and slogans.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
You can't be late until you show up.
When all else fails, lower your standards.
Was today really necessary?
Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
I'm objective; I object to everything.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions?
Overpopulation... too much of a good thing.
It could be worse. What if sex was fattening?
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Vegetarian: Indian word for BAD HUNTER!
You don't know what you have until it's gone. For example, toilet paper.
Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it. ~ Bob Hope
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. ~ Groucho Marx
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. ~ Tom Stoppard
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.