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Funny Alcohol Quotes

Here's a funny take on alcoholism. Read these funny quotes on alcohol and know how this potent drink can really play with your mind!

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Funny Alcohol Quotes

Here’s a funny take on alcoholism. Read these funny quotes on alcohol and know how this potent drink can really play with your mind!

Mobile Payment with Smart Phone,Tequila shot with salt and green lime

Alcoholism is not a funny issue, but there are many funny quotes on alcohol that I have come across! These quotes highlight the lighter side of consuming alcohol. However, some of them actually have a serious note as well beneath the humor. Take a look at these funny quotes and laugh out loud with your friends and family!

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
– Ernest Hemingway

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
– W.C. Fields

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
– Stephen Wright

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.
– William Butler Yeats

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
– Henry Lawson

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they’re going to feel all day.
– Dean Martin

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
– Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
– Kinky Friedman

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
– George Best

Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!”
– Eleanor Early

I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
– Brendan Behan

I have made an important discovery… that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.
– Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
– Henny Youngman

I drink to make other people interesting.
– George Jean Nathan

Dear Alcohol, we had a deal, you were going to make me funnier, sexier, more intelligent and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
– Anonymous

I used to think drinking was bad for me… So I gave up thinking.
– Anonymous

I would date you, but my heart already belongs to Jack Daniels.
– Anonymous

Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.
– Anonymous

You look like I need another drink.
– Anonymous

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
– Joe E. Lewis

Alcohol does not solve problems, but then again, neither does milk.
– Anonymous

If I ever go missing, I want my picture on a wine bottle instead of a milk carton, this way my friends will know I am missing.
– Anonymous

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.
– Anonymous

I would give up drinking, but I am not a quitter.
– Anonymous

I realize I may not be everyone’s cup of tea. I’d rather be someone’s shot of Tequila anyway.
– Anonymous

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