Funny Coffee Quotes

The quotes given below are full of sarcasm and wit that will make your bitter cup of coffee taste even better. However, you can't deny the fact that these quotes do make your day and leave you with a smile.
Quotabulary Staff
A coffee mug in one hand and the other hand holding a file. This is how you would typically imagine a busy big shot in a high profile job would look like. Coffee has become the integral part of life and you will see people gathering around the coffee machine for the latest office gossips. Or you may meet friends at a coffee shop to catch up on the latest gossip. Coffee has become a lifeline for those living around deadlines.

Many coffee aficionados have come up with funny quotes that will warm up your day.
  • Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.
  • Chocolate, men, coffee - some things are better rich.
  • Coffee has two virtues: it's wet and warm.
  • There has never been a better office communication system than the coffee break.
  • Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee.
  • Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.
  • Retirement is one great big giant coffee break.
  • On the eighth day God created coffee.
  • Don't criticize my coffee. You may be old and weak one day.
  • Is there life before coffee? There is NO life before coffee. There is life AFTER coffee!!
  • Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.
  • If you'll excuse me a minute, I'm going to have a cup of coffee.
  • No questions until I've had my second cup of coffee!
  • Don't drink coffee in the morning. It will keep you awake until noon.
  • I make serious coffee - so strong it wakes up the neighbors!!!
  • Instant Human, just add coffee.
  • Hand over the coffee and no one gets hurt!
  • A cup of coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent.
Famous Coffee Quotes
  • "I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time." ~ Steven Wright
  • "I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." ~ T.S. Eliot
  • "I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon." ~ Ronald Reagan
  • "Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever." ~ David Letterman
  • "Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat." ~ Alex Levine
  • "Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee." ~ Stephanie Piro
  • "We usually don't notice until the coffee tastes funny." ~ Anne Afdahl
  • "Tis pity wine should be so deleterious, for tea and coffee leave us much more serious." ~ Lord Byron
  • "Coffee which makes the politician wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes." ~ Alexander Pope
  • "Are we sure it is desirable for a man's spirit not to be at war with itself, or that it is better to be serene and ready to go to dinner than to be excited and unwilling to stop for a cup of coffee even?" ~ William Saroyan
  • "Tobacco, coffee, alcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine, are weak dilutions; the surest poison is time." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love." ~ Charles Maurice de Talleyrand
  • "No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness." ~ Sheikh Abd-al-Kadir
  • "Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water." ~ The Women's Petition Against Coffee
  • "This guy makes coffee nervous." ~ Bobby Heenan on the Ultimate Roider
  • "The God of Decaffeinated Coffee." ~ Joel Robinson
  • "Coffee, two sugars, cream... and aspirin." ~ Sinclair
  • "It seems to me that trying to live without friends is like milking a bear to get cream for your morning coffee. It is a whole lot of trouble, and then not worth much after you get it." ~ Zora Neale Hurston
These were some of the funny thoughts on coffee. But, have you ever wondered is caffeine bad for you? Do not drink a lot of coffee or you may end up with some negative effects. I hope this article proves to be a bittersweet experience for you. I will leave you with one final quote, 'Everybody needs something to believe. I believe I'll have another cup of coffee!"
Cup of coffee
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