Witty Quotes

Oscar Wilde witty quote
Not everyone can be witty and think of comebacks that leave others around stupefied. So if you are searching for some help, then the following article can be of some help. Read the witty quotes on love, life, and just about everything else below...
Being witty doesn't necessarily mean being mean to someone. Many times, people have this notion that if you say something witty or out of the ordinary, it can be considered as making people feel less of themselves. However, there are moments in life where your sharpness and skill to manipulate words to worn in your favor can payoff. We all know why would someone have the need to be witty or use funny quotes and/or sayings , to verbally show someone who they really are without actually having to use the literal words. But at times, it can be difficult to come up with something on your own, that too in a short span of time (seconds). What then? It's not like someone is going to hand you a big book of witty comments or something. And it sure would be great to know some witty comments and phrases that are really popular and well-known. That way, when you do need them, you can remember it quickly and use them at your discretion. Want some amazing comebacks that will keep you in the game of wordplay? Then keep reading.

Amusing Quotes and Sayings

There are instances in life when a particular person has the power to make your life miserable. Well, don't just stand there and let him/her. Take charge and make sure that no one, absolutely no one can make you feel short (not literally). These sharp, witty quotes will give you the strength to say something exactly at the moment you wish to say them. Try some of these famous quotes next time.

Intelligent, Yet Funny Quotes about Life

I get bored easily. I've been bored most of my life. ~ John Cleese

Is life worth living? It all depends on the liver. ~ William James

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. ~ Groucho Marx

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Age is mostly a matter of mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. ~ Mark Twain

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual. ~ Patrick Moore

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~ Rita Rudner

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. ~ Mark Twain

Catch a man a fish and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity. ~ Jim Morrison

I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards. ~ Immanuel Kant

Brilliant Quotes about Love

Never go to bed mad...stay up and fight. ~ Phyllis Diller

Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end. ~ Anonymous

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? ~ Lily Tomlin

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia. ~ H. L. Mencken

Once you have loved someone, you'd do anything in the world for them... except love them again. ~ Anonymous

Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love. ~ Yiddish Proverb

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times. ~ Rita Rudner

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?" ~ Anonymous

How absurd and delicious it is to be in love with somebody younger than yourself. Everybody should try it. ~ Barbara Pym

Short Humorous Quotes

When life gives you lemons...
  1. ask for the receipt
  2. sell the lemons on eBay
  3. ask for salt, tequila, and a shot glass!
  4. find someone with a paper cut
  5. alter their DNA and make GIANT lemons
  6. make orange juice with them, and think how the heck you did it after all
  7. suck out all the vitamin C and yell "Eat That, Life"
  8. just keep quiet and eat the stupid lemons
  9. take them and when no one is looking, throw them through someone's window and run as fast as you can
  10. make sure to write a "Thank you" note for them. Emails can be a bit too impersonal
Now, weren't these witty comebacks just the best? Although we have spoken about the fact that these comments, quotes, and comebacks don't necessarily describe meanness to someone, it doesn't hurt to be a bit more careful. I hope these quotes about life and love gave you a good laugh (or at least a smile on your face).
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