Share funny, witty or inspiring quotes.

Short Funny Sayings

Short Funny Sayings
While with your friends, you can make an impression with your collection of short funny sayings. This article will familiarize us with a few of them, and will surely bring a smile to your face.
Aakash Singh
Last Updated: Mar 9, 2018
Funny quotes always amuse us with their cynical ways and witty thought. Few of them are original, whereas a few are simply modified versions of old sayings. Most of them will either make us mock at a certain thing or issue, while there are few others which will teach us few things about life in the most wittiest manner.
Funny Quotes
About Friends
  • Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families. - Anonymous
  • It takes a long time to grow an old friend. - John Leonard
  • A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. - Anonymous
  • A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! - Doug Larson
  • A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer. - Amanda Grier
  • Never shall I forget the times I spent with you; continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours. - Ludwig Van Beethoven
  • A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else. - Anonymous
  • Life without a friend is death without a witness. - Eugene Benge
  • Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend. - Albert Camus
  • A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view. - Wilma Askinas
  • We know our friends by their defects rather than their merits. - W. Somerset Maugham
About Friendship
  • Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one. - C.S. Lewis
  • Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice. - Anonymous
  • There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. - Benjamin Franklin
  • Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does. - Jane Austen
  • Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected. - Charles Lamb
  • An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body. - Jim Hayes
  • The road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb
  • The best time to make friends is before you need them. - Ether Barrymore
About Family
  • Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found. - Winston Churchill
  • The love of a family is life's greatest blessing. - Anonymous
  • No man on his death bed ever looked up into the eyes of his family and friends and said, I wish I'd spent more time at the office. - Anonymous
  • All well-regulated families set apart an hour every morning for tea and bread and butter. - Joseph Addison
  • God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers. - Jewish Quote
  • The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana
  • Other things may change us, but we start and end with family. - Anthony Brandt
  • Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank
About Kids
  • To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway
  • The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. - Quentin Crisp
  • Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. - Bill Cosby
  • People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists. - Jack Dee
  • I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben
  • There is only one pretty child in the world. And every mother has it. - Chinese Proverb
  • I've got seven kids, the three words you hear the most around my house are: Hello, goodbye, and I'm pregnant. - Dean Martin
  • If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else. - Ann Landers
  • Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby', has never tried it. - Anonymous
  • The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. - Jean Kerr
  • In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. - Erma Bombeck
If you must have noticed, most of these funny quotes about life have powerful messages, but are presented in a subtle way. I hope these quotes will be in your mind at least for some time. Cheers!
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