Become a Contributor

Short Funny Sayings

Short Funny Sayings
While with your friends, you can make an impression with your collection of short funny sayings. This article will familiarize us with a few of them, and will surely bring a smile to your face.
Quotabulary Staff
Last Updated: Mar 9, 2018
Funny quotes always amuse us with their cynical ways and witty thought. Few of them are original, whereas a few are simply modified versions of old sayings. Most of them will either make us mock at a certain thing or issue, while there are few others which will teach us few things about life in the most wittiest manner.

Funny Quotes

About Friends
  • Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families. - Anonymous
  • It takes a long time to grow an old friend. - John Leonard
  • A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. - Anonymous
  • A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! - Doug Larson
  • A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer. - Amanda Grier
  • Never shall I forget the times I spent with you; continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours. - Ludwig Van Beethoven
  • A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else. - Anonymous
  • Life without a friend is death without a witness. - Eugene Benge
  • Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend. - Albert Camus
  • A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view. - Wilma Askinas
  • We know our friends by their defects rather than their merits. - W. Somerset Maugham
About Friendship
  • Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one. - C.S. Lewis
  • Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice. - Anonymous
  • There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. - Benjamin Franklin
  • Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does. - Jane Austen
  • Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected. - Charles Lamb
  • An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body. - Jim Hayes
  • The road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb
  • The best time to make friends is before you need them. - Ether Barrymore
About Family
  • Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found. - Winston Churchill
  • The love of a family is life's greatest blessing. - Anonymous
  • No man on his death bed ever looked up into the eyes of his family and friends and said, I wish I'd spent more time at the office. - Anonymous
  • All well-regulated families set apart an hour every morning for tea and bread and butter. - Joseph Addison
  • God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers. - Jewish Quote
  • The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana
  • Other things may change us, but we start and end with family. - Anthony Brandt
  • Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank
About Kids
  • To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway
  • The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. - Quentin Crisp
  • Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. - Bill Cosby
  • People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists. - Jack Dee
  • I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben
  • There is only one pretty child in the world. And every mother has it. - Chinese Proverb
  • I've got seven kids, the three words you hear the most around my house are: Hello, goodbye, and I'm pregnant. - Dean Martin
  • If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else. - Ann Landers
  • Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby', has never tried it. - Anonymous
  • The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. - Jean Kerr
  • In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. - Erma Bombeck
If you must have noticed, most of these funny quotes about life have powerful messages, but are presented in a subtle way. I hope these quotes will be in your mind at least for some time. Cheers!
Old Rake
Old hand is getting color
Decorative Vintage Model Old Bicycle