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Hilarious Quotes and Sayings

Dr. Sumaiya Khan Sep 30, 2018
Some words can make you smile no matter what mood you're in. Here are such quotes and sayings that will definitely cheer you up in no time.
One of the best things to do when you have run out of things to do is to read some hilarious quotes. Funny quotes and sayings, whether they are about life or relationships, always manage to put a smile on our face. Given are few of such really funny sayings that are bound to have you in splits!
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
- Gary Bolding,  during a graduation speech
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
- Kathy Norris

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
- R. Geis

Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.
- Christopher Isherwood
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
- Anonymous

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
- Joey Adams
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
- Charles Schulz
Life...is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
- Douglas Adams

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
- Anonymous

Life is like a game of poker: If you don't put any in the pot, there won't be any to take out.
- Moms Mabley
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
- Les Dawson

Nobody goes where the crowds are anymore. It's too crowded.
- Yogi Berra
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
- John Kirinrich
Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman.
- Anonymous

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.
- Oscar Wilde

Experience is the sinking feeling you have made this mistake before.
- Anonymous
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
- Joan Rivers
When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick.
- George Burns

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
- Anonymous
No, I don't have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
- Ashleigh Brilliant
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
- Anonymous

If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving is surely not meant for you.
- Anonymous

The more I know about men, the more I admire dogs.
- Anonymous
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.
- Jay Leno

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
- W. C. Fields

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
- Anonymous
Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it.
- Anonymous
These were a few hilarious sayings that must have definitely brought a smile to your face. So, keep laughing, because as they say, laughter is the best medicine!