Clever Quotes That Will Make You Rethink Everything

Jeff Dunham quote
Learn to look at life and its hardships from a different angle by reading some clever quotes. In this article we understand and learn that every bad phase must be accepted graciously by reading some clever and witty sayings.
Glancing on clever quotes always makes people wonder with amazement on the wisdom and comic timing of our forefathers. Like most of you even I have always been an ardent admirer of great sayings which makes the mind see both sides of a coin. Life has never been smooth for people, no matter how hard we try, it finds one way or the other to put misery in front of us. Now there are two things which people can do, either take stress and ruin everything or read some of these wise sayings and try to figure a way out without taking a lot of stress.
Clever Quotes on Love
Almost everyone in this world has been in love at least once. There are some who have a practical approach towards this concept, others just follow their heart. Learned men and women also had their own opinion about love, here are some of those views.
Clever Quotes on Love_1
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.
~ Albert Einstein

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like. ~ Adrienne Gusoff

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. ~ Agatha Christie
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. ~ Erma Bombeck

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. ~ Woody Allen

There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it. ~ Lily Tomlin
Clever Quotes on Love_2
The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes." ~ Anonymous

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. ~ Anonymous

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. ~ Brendan Francis

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.
~ Dorothy Parker
A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. ~ Don Fraser

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ~ Helen Rowland
Clever Quotes on Love_3
I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~ Rita Rudner

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. ~ Erma Bombeck

It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced. ~ Anonymous
Clever Quotes for Facebook
Almost everyone who owns a computer and is active on a social networking site has an account on Facebook. The website is probably the most popular innovation on the planet today. It is a great place for meeting long lost friends and people constantly keep on updating their status. Here are some funny lines for cool status updates.
Clever Quotes for Facebook_1
Darwin is color blind and trying to solve a Rubik's cube... This could take a while...

Yogi has to take money from my father...

Reuben says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Dave, feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.

Sheena is cle'a]ni.ng he'r ke]yb29oa;rd
Clever Quotes for Facebook_2
Tanya says she's hired Aladdin's Genie for revenge against her ex-boyfriend.

Charlie just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.

Sean says my wife said I'm too immature and if I don't grow up it is going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.

Statistically, 178% of all people exaggerate.

You can't be late until you show up.
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Cool Quotes for Facebook_3
Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke

When going through airport customs and you are asked, "Do you have any firearms with you?" Do not reply with "What you need"?

I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.

I am very clever and I will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.
Clever Lines used in Everyday Situations
Clever words are not just useful in difficult situations, they can be used in everyday lives and can make a huge difference. So here are some clever words which can be used in everyday lives.
Clever Lines used in Everyday Situations_1
Oscar Wilde
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. ~ Oscar Wilde

A clever, ugly man every now and then is successful with the ladies, but a handsome fool is irresistible. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

An inefficient virus kills its host. A clever virus stays with it. ~ James Lovelock

A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it. ~ Israel Zangwill.
Life is just a bowl of cherries. ~ Anonymous

There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a lunatic. ~ George Orwell
Clever Lines used in Everyday Situations_2
Rudyard Kipling
It's clever, but is it Art? ~ Rudyard Kipling

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first. ~ Mark Twain

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. ~ Oscar Wilde

Find enough clever things to say, and you're a Prime Minister; write them down and you're a Shakespeare. ~ George Bernard Shaw
Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness. ~ Henri Frederic Amiel

A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it. ~ Calista Flockhart
Clever Lines used in Everyday Situations_3
Winston Churchill
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. ~ Winston Churchill

We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing. ~ R D Laing

I find, by experience, that the mind and the body are more than married, for they are most intimately united; and when one suffers, the other sympathizes. ~ Earl
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. ~ Winston Churchill

The best kind of wealth is to give up inordinate desires. ~ Anonymous

I've developed a new philosophy...only dread one day at a time. ~ Charlie Brown
Clever Lines used in Everyday Situations_4
Mark Twain
Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. ~ Mark Twain

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope and that enables you to laugh at life's realities ~ Dr. Seuss

If I ever get rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now. ~ Jack Handey
A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. ~ Dennis Miller

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Jeff Dunham
Clever Lines used in Everyday Situations_5
Adolf Hitler
Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and the other way round, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise. ~ Adolf Hitler

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. ~ George Burns

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. ~ Erma Bombeck

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. ~ Paul Fix
So these were some of the best lines ever said. There is something about these words and every time you read them, they tend to say something different. It's like they are made for a particular phase and never fail to guide us.
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